Let's play a game

i call it...."find the freakiest creature at your local Wal-Mart". have you guys ever heard of a website called People of Walmart ? if any of you haven't, SHAME ON YOU. if you have, then we're probably soulmates. this is one of the many vices i use to get by on a boring day. it's chalk-full of delightful patrons of our favorite superstore (eventhough my heart belongs to Target).

Observe:

this takes "To Catch a Predator" up to a whole different level. Where the H is Chris Hansen when you need him?? 

this one is my new personal favorite. 'nuff said.

"trollin" for some rollback savings

umm...wow.

Rat-tail+bedazzled shorts+massive wedgie = true love

i highly encourage you all to find your own top 5 pics. You'll thank me later.

my own little mini-me

when i started this blog, i figured i'd keep it fairly anonymous and strictly geared towards the entertainment/fashion industry. however, as i've become besties with a few of you, i thought i'd open the door a little bit to my private life and introduce you to my own meaning of life:

meet my daughter/my own little mini-me.

she's a fiesty, sassy, snuggly 3 year old-going on 16 little girl, and she is the absolute light of my life.

she even quotes movies (right now she's on Pinocchio and Shrek) just like her mama!

so even though i became a mom fairly young, i can tell you she is definitely the best part of my day, every day. no matter how many middle of the grocery store tantrums, whine and cry sessions about taking a bath, battles to the death regarding bedtime episodes, i love her more and more than i could have ever imagined.

even when she says "Mommy....you're drama", or "I don't like my dinner...it makes me throw up" (true story)

anyway maybe it's the hormones raging within me because of that oh-so-very special week of the month, or that i'm just a total sap, but i felt the need to connect with y'all on a deeper level and talk about something other than fabulous shoes or celebrity gossip.

HAPPY MONDAY!!

ode to a classic

there are some movies in your life, no matter what age you are, that will stick with you forever. one film in particular (and I hope most of you will agree) is a golden little gem known as "Say Anything..."

John Cusack. *sigh*. Although he is not exactly Brad Pitt, he gave me the little butterflies that every girl gets when she has a crush on a boy. And although his character's name was Lloyd, i'm pretty sure he stole (and will continue to rob) every female's heart

every.

single.

time.

best SCENE ever:

that classic, albeit desperate scene of Lloyd holding the radio over his head in front of Diane's house...silently BEGGING her to accept his love through the ballad of Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes"

best quote in the entire movie:

"What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it."

How I Met the Greatest Show on Earth

This past year or so I have discovered a couple of amazing things:

1) On Demand (even though I'm forced to pay ridiculous amounts of ca$h money for the corporate giant that is Comcast because my apartment doesn't face the lousy mothership of a satellite for Dish or Surewest)

2) How I Met Your Mother

I found this show one night when all that was on was reruns of Real Housewives of New Jersey (barf) and Deadliest Catch (my bestie BFF Alicia's husband Jordan tortures us with that and similar shows more than enough). I was perusing On Demand for some funny, commercial-free shows, and thought I'd try this HIMYM (apparently it's abbreviated like that, for all you scenesters).

OK, first of all, this show consistantly has me in hysterics. Like, nose running, tears rolling down my cheeks, snorting laughter type of hysterics. Yes, it's that funny. This show is kind of like the spawn of "Friends", except none of the characters are annoying *cough*MONICA*cough* (sorry Monica fans). Plus, Bob Saget narrates the show. Ultra cool points just for throwing in a little Danny Tanner action. 

 

Also, Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser...remember him now?) is one of my favorite characters on the show. For being a gay man in real life, he sure knows how to play a lady-killer on the show. He's got that cocky "quarterback in high school who joined the frat in college who went on to be a loan officer for Ameriquest" attitude. As sleezy as he is, I can assure you without him the show would not have the fantastic level of humor that it does 

guaranteed.

 For those of you who are already seen the show and love it as much as I do, HIGH FIVE (insert Borat impression). If not, try to catch it when you can. The new season (numero 5...YAY) just started. It's on Mondays at 8 o'clock on CBS.

Toodles!!

Steal this song! (not really...but maybe)

normally I am not into the whole pop music scene

BUT

  there is a song that my amazing Zumba instructor/very good friend Sheila throws into our Tuesday night workouts and I am absolutely IN LUUUUUVVVVRRRR with it.

drum roll please....

"Shake It" by Metro Station.

i'll admit that the lyrics are a bit risque, but since all of you are not the prudes that I'm assuming you aren't (otherwise you wouldn't be following this broad's blog), then I'm sure you will all enjoy it. I'll even forgive the fact that the lead singer is Miley Cyrus' older brother (yuck, yuck, YUCK)

I highly suggest you download it onto your iTunes or burn it onto a cd asap.

Maybe you'll even catch it on your shower radio (if anyone still ownes one of those). My good friend Jerry Seinfeld once wrote about shower radios saying "there's no better idea that I can think of than dancing around on a slick surface next to a glass door".

Bawhahahaha.

Ranting...again

So the Hills has somehow made it to another season. This time, good ol' Kristen Cavalerie (sp?) is running the show. Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but didn't she take over Laguna Beach after Lauren left that show as well? And didn't she say she was getting out of "reality tv" to begin a legit acting career? WOW, that went well, huh?

anyway, this rant is not about her and her stoner/drunken voice. this is about the epidemic known as  

SPEIDI. 

Via the premier episode, Spencer Pratt has officially hit a new low on the fashion scale. Apparently he is very much into rockin' the "urban cowboy" look. However, he looks more Brokeback than Stetson, as shown below.

 du nuh, du nuh.....du nuh du nuh du nuh...(that's the Jaw's theme, for any confused readers)

 via okmagazine.com

Question: why the eff do they always have to match?  Gag.

I could go on and on, but I think a picture is worth a thousand words. or buckets of vomit.

you decide.

i am SO not ready for this jelly

WARNING: some people may or may not be offended by this post.

i know i promised myself that i would keep my blog positive and uplifting....

BUT

i have to rant. just this once (maybe not just once. i cant make any promises)

about 10 or so years ago, a strange musical force came onto the American airwaves. That force going by the name of

Beyonce

ugh. ok seriously where do i even begin with this creature?

to be fair, yes, she has a great voice. yes, she knows how to "flaunt what 'cha momma gave ya". yes, she is married to Jay Z. and yes, she has way more billions of dollars that i will most likely never ever obtain in my life.

HOWEVER, as an avid music/movie lover, i first have to say i am highly appalled at the lyrical content of her songs. I mean...first she whines "pay my bills...if not then we are through", and then she turns around flailing about shouting that she's an "Independent Woman". make up your mind already!! sheesh. OH YEAH, if i hear that friggen song "Halo" ONE  MORE TIME i am just going to freak out!

to add further insult, the fact that she now is being paid to act flub her lines terribly/barely produce a sqirm-worthy performance is way more torture than I or the rest of the world need or deserve to be tortured with.

maybe i should give her some slack. I mean, Obsessed was not the best movie i've ever seen. i don't think i'd even rate it on my top 20. in fact...i may even go so far as to say that i'd rather watch Shaq squeeze himself into a genie outfit and prance about in that gawd-awful flick Kazaam.

(remember that? auughh. scary!)

ok, back to the matter at hand. in Obsessed, Beyonce plays the stereotypical angry/jealous/"if you mess wit' my man i'ma CUT you" wife who has an on-going battle with her Executive husband's bottle-blond hot piece of ace/level 5 crazy/secretary (another type-script role for Ali Larter) who is convinced that her boss is in love with her and brings out a whole different level of psycho. Overall this movie has a weak and predictable plot, an abundance of overacting, and yes....waaaaay too much Beyonce.

let the cat fight begin!

ok...i feel a lot better. really!