Thursday, October 1, 2009

i am SO not ready for this jelly

WARNING: some people may or may not be offended by this post.

i know i promised myself that i would keep my blog positive and uplifting....


i have to rant. just this once (maybe not just once. i cant make any promises)

about 10 or so years ago, a strange musical force came onto the American airwaves. That force going by the name of


ugh. ok seriously where do i even begin with this creature?

to be fair, yes, she has a great voice. yes, she knows how to "flaunt what 'cha momma gave ya". yes, she is married to Jay Z. and yes, she has way more billions of dollars that i will most likely never ever obtain in my life.

HOWEVER, as an avid music/movie lover, i first have to say i am highly appalled at the lyrical content of her songs. I mean...first she whines "pay my bills...if not then we are through", and then she turns around flailing about shouting that she's an "Independent Woman". make up your mind already!! sheesh. OH YEAH, if i hear that friggen song "Halo" ONE  MORE TIME i am just going to freak out!

to add further insult, the fact that she now is being paid to act flub her lines terribly/barely produce a sqirm-worthy performance is way more torture than I or the rest of the world need or deserve to be tortured with.

maybe i should give her some slack. I mean, Obsessed was not the best movie i've ever seen. i don't think i'd even rate it on my top 20. in fact...i may even go so far as to say that i'd rather watch Shaq squeeze himself into a genie outfit and prance about in that gawd-awful flick Kazaam.

(remember that? auughh. scary!)

ok, back to the matter at hand. in Obsessed, Beyonce plays the stereotypical angry/jealous/"if you mess wit' my man i'ma CUT you" wife who has an on-going battle with her Executive husband's bottle-blond hot piece of ace/level 5 crazy/secretary (another type-script role for Ali Larter) who is convinced that her boss is in love with her and brings out a whole different level of psycho. Overall this movie has a weak and predictable plot, an abundance of overacting, and yes....waaaaay too much Beyonce.

let the cat fight begin!

ok...i feel a lot better. really!


  1. Ha ha! I never noticed all of her songs were contradictory until you mentioned it.

  2. amen sister!! i can't stomach beyonce...and if i hear single ladies one more time i may just have myself a little brit brit meltdown. see, this is a perfect example of why i love you so... fabulous post pancake...fabulous.

  3. That movie didn't look so good when it was in the theater. I am just so sick of that song about putting a ring on her finger...DO IT ALREADY AND SHUT HER UP!

  4. Ha ha, I totally agree! I dislike her, her acting, & a lot of her music. When I saw the preview to Obsessed I was like 'WTF, you can't be serious'. What surprised me the most is that it actually made a lot of money, what?

    Omg…& what's up with her weird outfits?

  5. is it just me or does beyonce look more & more like a dude in drag the more famous she gets? crazy. Tranny all the way.
    Cute blog!
    Cameron from
    Conquer The Monkey

  6. Hey! Found you via Alicia. Love it! But I have to admit, your slamming review has actually made me want to see the film!!! Weird? Oh well!

    Congrats on your new blog!

    LBM xxx

  7. Amen!!
    And can someone talk to her about changing up her videos a bit.... you and two other girls dancing on a blank video of all time my a$$, Kanye!

  8. Alicia gave you a great shout out!! Very fun. Now we all need to spam you with awards and tags!!! Don't the two of you start a tag on us!!!

  9. Can't stand Beyonce for reasons having to do with our life in Virginia (we were in a group home and a few of the boys were obsessed with in they wanted to BE her).

  10. Ha...she has too much appreciation comin her way. I mean...she's no Selena!!!

  11. Yes I come from Cheesy too. What a great bestie you have!!

    Once I read 'if I hear the friggen song Halo one more time...' i knew I had to follow.

    Then there are the shoes from a few posts earlier...sigh...:)

  12. The only thing good about beyonce is that she is SEXY. She puts out an aura of "Independent and ducking fierce" but it's just the aura. Don't be fooled, she's crazy. Craaaaazy. What really pisses me off is Put a Ring On It. Like shut up bitch, how bout we put a bag on you? Men are not "Its" and if there was a song like that about woman she'd be all, oh PooPoo

  13. I am just a passer by but I so agree with you. Beyonce is an over payed, over acter who needs to find something better to do than scream on cd's. I have never liked Beyonce, even when she was in Destiny's Child.

    I don't even find that she is all pretty and what not that everybody swears she is. She is just a normal young singer that thinks screaming is awesome.

    And this is coming from someone who enjoys listening to Metal music.

  14. Hey, Im new to you!! Your right about her! Never even thought twice about the lyrics but then again I have never really been much of a fan! Oh well...nice to meet ya!!!

  15. Oh girl, this made me laugh out loud, then my gum dropped out of my mouth and onto my shirt, then I couldn't get it off. Haha-that's a freaking TRUE story. Haha. Beyonce is ok...I mean if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it, that's been my motto for a hot minute now...haha.

  16. Beyonce is annoying 100%. She forced me to do the master cleanse. FORCED.


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